RANSVESTIA

but 2) there was nothing in the world that was going to make me do it. I remember both feelings clearly and they tell me that my desires were already very clearly perceived by that age and that my guilt and fear were also well mobilized.

This leads me to guess that my first interest must have come about the age of 12. But in any case by the time I was 18 I had accumu- lated a small wardrobe and when I could assure myself that my parents were going to be away long enough I would go out into the garage and dress there and then sneak out and walk around the block or maybe even get bold and get on the streetcar and ride about six blocks east, get off and take another one back again... Big adventure. Then one Sunday I was home alone and decided to do my big number. I got all dressed in a dress of my mother's. I remember it well-a green velvet skirt and a blouse of very light green with appliqued green leaves on it. I didn't have a wig so I took a switch of mother's and draped it around the inside of a big broad brimmed garden hat so that bits of it stuck out in appropriate places and there I was. With shoes and purse-a perfect lady ready for an afternoon walk.

Our house was two blocks from Wilshire Boulevard, one of the city's principal streets. So I trucked out of the house and walked up to Wilshire as prim as you please-two blocks down Wilshire and then back to the house. I was like a saddle horse from a public stable- you can hardly get him to move on the way out and once you turn around you can hardly stop him from running all the way to the stable. I found that I couldn't get back to the safety of the house quick enough. I'm sure many others have experienced that.

I remember another event of those days. They were the days when rayon was all the rage. One time, operating on the principle that if some is good more is better, I remember that I wore about eight pairs of rayon panties and on top of that four or six of my mother's slips. In those days we had double decked buses like those famous in London and I walked up to Wilshire and got on one and went up top where I could get a good view. Unfortunately when the bus went around a comer the sway on the upper deck was considerably greater than down below. I found that 12 or 14 layers of rayon between me and the seat made things pretty slippery and I could hardly stay on the seat. But wearing all that lingerie at the same time made me feel sort of super-feminine because I was outdoing all the other women.

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